Sticks and stones

We are all told that little rhyme when we are growing up. It’s meant to keep us safe from mean words. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. 

It’s great in theory but it’s a lie. Words can hurt horrendously. 

It’s an obvious thing really. Don’t use the n-word to a person of colour. Don’t use the f-word to a gay person. Don’t tell someone they are ugly. Don’t point out someone’s lower than average intellect. 

You know what’s not actually socially unacceptable yet? Telling someone they are fat. 

Tonight I got in a taxi. He was so proud of himself because he remembered me. He excitedly told me that he has driven me a couple of times before. 

Wanna know why he remembered me? 

“I drive you before. I remember you. You fat.”

Now, I doubt he meant any offence. He was just really chatty. He was merely stating a fact. To him I facially look like every other white woman, no doubt. What makes me stand out is my size. 

I had this before. Years ago I slipped down some marble type stairs outside a building. There was water on them. The taxi driver told me that if I wasn’t fat, I wouldn’t have been hurt. 

Both were Pakistani. 

(Which I say not as a slur but as a fact which will play out further along in my post.)

On the flip side, when I got really sick and couldn’t eat properly for 6 plus months so lost a bunch of weight, the Filipinas that I knew couldn’t stop praising me for how sexy I was looking or how I was now beautiful. I wasn’t healthy but hey, I was looking better. 

This is what you get when you live in a melting pot. Society throws you all together and it’s fun. But with the good you have to take the bad. There was no malice meant today or when I fell. There was no malice meant when I had lost weight and suddenly looked more acceptable. But you put together different cultures and add English as a second language and sometimes you get hurt. 

There was no such excuse however for Essex born financial advisor Paul, who shouted at me in the street that I was a “fat cunt” who would never get laid. Why did he do this? (At the same time the Filipinas were telling me I was looking good, as an aside.) He decided to attack how I looked because I didn’t say goodbye as I walked off with my friends. 

I hadn’t been speaking to him. He wasn’t someone I knew. I threw a “bye” over my shoulder as I went off to flag down a cab but this wasn’t good enough for him. He called me a bunch of other things too, to the point random bystanders threatened to call the police. It wasn’t fun. 

My point is that he may have thought I was arrogant or rude, but what gave him the right to call me a fat anything? 

Then there was the guy I was seeing briefly who broke up with me by telling me if I ever wanted a boyfriend, I needed to lose weight. Again, in the aforementioned “sexy” years. 

Why, in this day and age where people are always worried about what they say and not being phobic or abusive, why is it still ok to shame fat people? 

I made it to the end of my taxi journey without crying. I made it two steps away before the floodgates opened. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that but it’s true. Despite logically knowing the taxi driver was just chatting, it hurt to know I am the fat girl. That there is nothing else remarkable about me except my weight. 

People don’t realise that it hurts. They don’t realise that some people, like me, are emotional eaters. I quit smoking. I rarely drink any more. I eat. When I am stressed or unhappy, I eat. When I don’t want to get out of bed because I am so miserable, I get up so I can have breakfast. 

Is it right? No. But it’s me. It’s how I get through the day. I don’t know how I make it sometimes but I do. 

Tonight I am having a glass of wine for dinner. And probably some crisps. Because I am hurting. 

Next time you think something mean, or you make a joke at the expense of someone fat, just take a moment to think. Make time to realise that they are a human too. Give them a silent back slap for facing the world when it’s programmed to hate them. 

Just try and be nice. 

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Yay me! Yay you! Yay everyone!

I was just on Instagram having a little chat with the marvelously talented and beautiful Cara of RainyBayBlog (hello!) about self promotion.  She made a wonderful post about her many accomplishments and how proud she was of herself.  She mentioned that she felt a bit “cringy” about being so vocal and we both agreed that it’s something people need to do more often.

As a rule people are much more likely to list the things they can’t do rather than things they can.  Brits especially.  It’s viewed as bragging or being boastful and is left to pretty much every other culture to do.  If you’re a Brit and a women, it’s a near impossibility.

As an expat I have seen this over and over.  I have so many friends that have asked me to Continue reading

My GM Diet/Detox Experiment

As anyone who knows me or has seen my photo knows,  I carry a few extra lbs on my frame.  Or rather a lot.  Depending on which photo you have seen!  Currently however, my weight has rocketed and I don’t like it at all.  I am uncomfortable and unhappy and so I decided I needed to try something new.

The winner of my “what shall I do next” decisions was The GM Diet.

Legend has it that the bosses of General Motors were worried about the health of their staff as a number had some extra weight.  They got together with nutritionists and devised a plan to help kick start their weight loss journey.

I’m not going to set it all out here.  If you want to know about it, read Continue reading

3 Day Juice Cleanse – Day One

Day One

8.00am – The Boy has charged off to Freshii in an excited whir to pick up our juices.

8.01am – Decide to hide in the shower for a bit longer.

8.15am – He is back and I’m getting nagged to come and have breakfast.

8.16am – I hate this week already.

8.20am – My drinking days have finally lead to something useful.  This nasty poopy looking juice is much more palatable if taken like a shot. Continue reading

Walden Farms vs Choc Shot

This is a very short post because there is no debate in my mind….

Walden Farms Chocolate Syrup kicks Sweet Freedom’s Choc Shot ass.  It isn’t as watery and it has a better and less synthetic chocolate taste.

You can see I love them by the fact they are emptying, and the Choc Shot isn’t!

I can’t compare any other flavours because this is the Continue reading

Ladies Night at Nezzas!

It’s been quite a while since I went to Nezesaussi Grill at the Manzil Hotel, Downtown.  At least 6 months, I’m sure.  Good news is that it’s still great!  Just thought I would let you know!!

(P.S.  Whilst googling how to spell this venue’s name, I have discovered there is one now in the Marina too.  I wonder if they have the same offers?  I will leave that for you to work out because the marina is faaaaaaar!)

I’ve got to work out how to take better menu pictures! Also, there is steak/salmon too.


The Tuesday Ladies Night offer still remains the same.   Continue reading

Eat The World!

img_7423Sounds like a great idea to me!  Sadly “the World” consisted only of Singapore, the UAE, the UK and the US.  That was a great start though, unlike the start of this post which I think is weak.

What am I banging on about, I hear you wonder?  Well, part of this year’s Dubai Food Festival was a street food market called Eat The World!  It was held in Burj Park (Downtown) and the idea was that you would wonder about and eat a bunch of stuff from a host of different places.

Let me get the negative out of the way first… Continue reading