Pure Anger

There was a Facebook post the other day that asked what the first item of news is that you remember.  My family never had the news on very much.  Mum doesn’t like that kind of negativity in the house.  But I do remember the case of James Bulger.  I doubt anyone in the UK could ever forget that one.

For people who aren’t British, James was a 2yr old who was abducted from a shopping mall in Liverpool while his mother’s back was turned for seconds.  He was then walked to a railway line, tortured, murdered and then mutilated post-mortem.  The worst part?  Yes, it sadly can be worse.  This gruesome, barbaric and inhumane act was carried out by Continue reading

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Sticks and stones

We are all told that little rhyme when we are growing up. It’s meant to keep us safe from mean words. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. 

It’s great in theory but it’s a lie. Words can hurt horrendously. 

It’s an obvious thing really. Don’t use the n-word to a person of colour. Don’t use the f-word to a gay person. Don’t tell someone they are ugly. Don’t point out someone’s lower than average intellect. 

You know what’s not actually socially unacceptable yet? Telling someone they are fat. 

Tonight I got in a taxi. He was so proud of himself because he remembered me. He excitedly told me that he has driven me a couple of times before. 

Wanna know why he remembered me? 

“I drive you before. I remember you. You fat.”

Now, I doubt he meant any offence. He was just really chatty. He was merely stating a fact. To him I facially look like every other white woman, no doubt. What makes me stand out is my size. 

I had this before. Years ago I slipped down some marble type stairs outside a building. There was water on them. The taxi driver told me that if I wasn’t fat, I wouldn’t have been hurt. 

Both were Pakistani. 

(Which I say not as a slur but as a fact which will play out further along in my post.)

On the flip side, when I got really sick and couldn’t eat properly for 6 plus months so lost a bunch of weight, the Filipinas that I knew couldn’t stop praising me for how sexy I was looking or how I was now beautiful. I wasn’t healthy but hey, I was looking better. 

This is what you get when you live in a melting pot. Society throws you all together and it’s fun. But with the good you have to take the bad. There was no malice meant today or when I fell. There was no malice meant when I had lost weight and suddenly looked more acceptable. But you put together different cultures and add English as a second language and sometimes you get hurt. 

There was no such excuse however for Essex born financial advisor Paul, who shouted at me in the street that I was a “fat cunt” who would never get laid. Why did he do this? (At the same time the Filipinas were telling me I was looking good, as an aside.) He decided to attack how I looked because I didn’t say goodbye as I walked off with my friends. 

I hadn’t been speaking to him. He wasn’t someone I knew. I threw a “bye” over my shoulder as I went off to flag down a cab but this wasn’t good enough for him. He called me a bunch of other things too, to the point random bystanders threatened to call the police. It wasn’t fun. 

My point is that he may have thought I was arrogant or rude, but what gave him the right to call me a fat anything? 

Then there was the guy I was seeing briefly who broke up with me by telling me if I ever wanted a boyfriend, I needed to lose weight. Again, in the aforementioned “sexy” years. 

Why, in this day and age where people are always worried about what they say and not being phobic or abusive, why is it still ok to shame fat people? 

I made it to the end of my taxi journey without crying. I made it two steps away before the floodgates opened. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that but it’s true. Despite logically knowing the taxi driver was just chatting, it hurt to know I am the fat girl. That there is nothing else remarkable about me except my weight. 

People don’t realise that it hurts. They don’t realise that some people, like me, are emotional eaters. I quit smoking. I rarely drink any more. I eat. When I am stressed or unhappy, I eat. When I don’t want to get out of bed because I am so miserable, I get up so I can have breakfast. 

Is it right? No. But it’s me. It’s how I get through the day. I don’t know how I make it sometimes but I do. 

Tonight I am having a glass of wine for dinner. And probably some crisps. Because I am hurting. 

Next time you think something mean, or you make a joke at the expense of someone fat, just take a moment to think. Make time to realise that they are a human too. Give them a silent back slap for facing the world when it’s programmed to hate them. 

Just try and be nice. 

Wanderlust? Actually, just wondering why.

I honestly don’t know where to start this post.  I know I’ve said that before but this one really has me scratching my head.  I did think about not writing but I decided that I had to.  Someone had to anyway, and that may as well be me.

Before I go any further, all opinions are my own and I have PMS on top of having had a really rubbish week at work.

So, a good friend was back in town and naturally a brunch was organised.  I wasn’t part of the decision making and booking process, but was really pleased to hear that we were heading to Continue reading

STOP THE SPOILERS!!!!!!!

MailOnline, that means you!

I hate you.  You keep ruining the shows I am trying to watch.  I don’t read the articles but the pictures, video clips and the headlines you use tell me pretty much everything I am trying desperately NOT to know.

There are some of us who rely on catch up tv to watch the popular shows.  We can’t watch it at the time it is aired.  The reasons are numerous.  Mine is obviously that I’m an expat so I have to wait 24hrs to catch up.  But there are people in the UK who can’t either.  People who have to go to bed early.  People who work shifts.  People who are studying.  So many reasons.

So please, for the love of all things tv secrety, Continue reading

London Will NEVER Fall

London-Attacks-Twitter-Meme

I have so many words today that this could be a jumbled mess that I never remember the actual starting point for.  On the plus side it won’t be as bad as it could be as it’s first thing in the morning and so there is no wine involved.

I was sat on my couch last night when a BBC News Alert binged my phone.  Because of the regularity of famous people dying last year, The Boy always asks “who has died this time” when he hears it.  This time no one – yet. Continue reading

Lesson Sadly Learnt

If you see a new restaurant or a cafe that looks amaze, and you really want to try it, do. As soon as possible. Don’t wait a few years to get around to it. Because when you do it might completely suck and then you’ve wasted a few years waiting for the right time to treat yourself.

Yes, this really can happen. Today proved that completely.

I have been walking past Alison Nelson’s Chocolate Bar for the last few years.  Self preservation has always kept me as far away from it as possible.  I mean, a whole cafe dedicated to chocolate?!  Amaze and sooooo dangerous. Continue reading

Letter of Complaint

Dear Reel Cinemas / Dubai Mall Platinum Movie Suites,

Since your manager failed to call me back for a discussion, I am writing to you via social media because I am still quite disappointed at my experience with you last weekend.

The Boy and I came to watch “Allied” with you, and decided to make it dinner and a movie because we really do like your snacks.  But sadly your service was not up to standard at all.

Upon arrival I was seated by one of your team in my favourite spot in the lounge.  I had got there early so that I could place my order and relax before seeing the movie.   Continue reading